Mom’s pillow was soaked with blood when I got there yesterday. You’d think someone would have called to let me know. I went straight to the nurse and asked what was going on and if her oncologist had been notified. She said it started bleeding first thing in the morning when they changed her bandage and that the hospitalist knew about it. I let Patricia and Maria know. Maria was on the phone with the nurse immediately and things started happening. Next thing I know she’s back in the ambulance headed for the ER at UMC. Yes, TMC was across the street. I just didn’t want the jackasses at CNS to get their hands on her again. She got a neuro consult quickly and sutures were done right away, but then the waiting began. She was really slurring her words and sipping water was difficult so another (!) MRI was ordered.

Before we left for UMC, mom and I had a long talk about what last week’s MRI showed and how the tumor board meeting went. I couldn’t write about it until I was able to discuss it with her. The short version is, the tumor that was previously operated on has filled in. Further surgery is not really an option in her current state of health and at her age. At this point there is really nothing more that can be done that would extend her life. Our next mission is to keep mom as comfortable as we can for the time she has left. We will try to move her to Peppi’s house soon for inpatient hospice. She understands what’s happening. She’s very sad about it. She would like me to get her home to see her cats, lie in her bed and see the new floor at some point soon. I don’t know quite how to accomplish that, but we will try….. She is very sad that she won’t make the wedding, but she is afraid that she will die on that day. I asked her to please pick another day if at all possible. She said she would try. I hate the idea that it could happen when we are all out of town, but there is nothing we can do about it. She wanted to be in the pictures….

We were in the ER for 7 hours before they finally got her in for an MRI. I ran out for a quick (1000 calorie) bite at McDonald’s. Mom still couldn’t eat anything until the results came back and she was starting to get pretty surly. She said she was thirsty and I gave her water and she acted like it was poison, then I gave her an ice cube and she said I’m hungry and you give me an ice cube? Hey, 12 hours later and I’m still here-no complaining! Nothing new on the MRI. Luckily I threw a pretzel in my purse when I moved my car-I’m golden again. At 12:30 she was picked up to be transported back to Handmaker-I met the van and got her to her room and finally made it home at 1:15 in the morning. Not exactly the day I had envisioned, but, what the hell, it could have been worse. I have to be back at 9:00 a.m. for the infectious disease doctors appointment. No rest for the wicked.