It is amazing how some time spent at the beach always makes me feel better! It has been so long (about seven months!) since I felt so happy and content for eleven straight days. We had the nicest vacation we could have hoped for. Cruises are so nice. Why did I resist for so many years? Unpack once. Go to new places. See new things. Eat too much. How can anything about that not be great?

We got to Ft. Lauderdale two days before the cruise and had an enjoyable time before taking off. The first 36 hours or so were pretty choppy, with 8-10 foot waves. Yikes. I tried to think of it as a perpetual roller coaster. And, it really did rock you to sleep like a giant cradle. I had an amazing facial on the ship (a birthday gift from Steve and Linda). We kayaked in Turks and Caicos and got to see some amazing marine life, courtesy of our entertaining and knowledgeable guide. We explored the cute old town of San Juan, Puerto Rico and had a Pina Colada at Barrachina, where the drink was invented. We shopped in St Thomas and took a crazy, local, open air bus-like vehicle through the hills to Red Hook for a few cold beers and a bite to eat at the ferry port. We took a long walk on the beach and swam in the incredible turquoise blue Caribbean at Half Moon Cay, in the Bahamas. It was beautiful! Sitting on our balcony watching the ocean was totally and absolutely as peaceful as it gets. If you can’t relax on this kind of vacation, relaxation just may not be in the cards for you!

After the cruise, Rick and I spent a couple days in South Beach, a place we have really grown to love. We discovered a little neighborhood diner called Puerto Sagua, that has the most delicious Cuban food in a very low key, not fancy way. Also the best coffee I have ever had in America! We stayed on Ocean Drive at The Pelican, which is owned by the same people that own Diesel clothing and Viktor & Rolf. It was a great little offbeat Italian place in an old Art Deco building. And their pizza. Wow!

On the first morning at sea, the steel pan drum performer, Ashton, had an early morning class on how to play them. We watched while having our coffee and it was adorable and hysterical! Rick leaned over to me and said, “Your mom would be up there doing that and laughing out loud.” I had been thinking the very same thing, and could actually hear her laugh. There were so many times on the cruise where we would see a lady about mom’s age, just having the time of her life. Just like mom would have, if she had been there. And while there was definitely some sadness that she was gone and that those times won’t happen for her again, a part of me felt better that she had so many great experiences. I know that if she had lived with her illness one, three or five more years, and if it would have been in a way where she was totally dependent on others and unable to enjoy her life the way she always had, she would probably have preferred to go sooner rather than later……

Some photos:

Today is my 58th birthday. I can’t begin to communicate just how crappy it felt to not get that very early morning happy birthday phone call from my mom. I’ve been trying to remember where I was and what I did on my last birthday when mom was still here. I have absolutely no idea. I cannot in any way remember. So much has transpired since then. I know that we had dinner with mom at some point either on my birthday or just before or after, like we did for all of our birthdays. It just seems that we take for granted that the people in our lives will just always be there, even though we know, rationally, that is not the case. It makes me so want to hold on tighter and make the most of the time we have. And at the same time I want to curl up in a dark corner and be alone. This. Has. Got. To. Get. Easier.

Tomorrow morning Rick and I will leave for Florida to spend a couple of nights before our Caribbean cruise takes off on Sunday. We are going to Turks and Caicos, US Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Bahamas. We really need this trip! So much!