Thursday, October 29th

Mom died peacefully at 12:30 in the morning. Tyler and I were with her, talking to her and holding her hand. It was a long day. We had been there just under 12 hours, with a short lunch break. We decided to go home and call it a day, thinking if she wanted us there when she decided to go, she had ample opportunity. Maybe she was one of the people who wanted to go alone…we’ve done some reading on the topic. We went home and had a drink, and a couple of cigarettes, and a quick bite to eat. Tyler and I got to talking about the fact that it was the 28th, and we both had a feeling about the symmetry or poetry of the date being exactly one month before her 82nd birthday. A little after 11 we decided to go back and sit with her until midnight just in case she changed her mind and wanted us there. We started noticing a change in her breathing and started to talk to her more and more and as her breathing changed she opened her eyes wide and looked at us, which she had not done all day. We continued to tell her how much we love her and what a good mom and Oma she has been and how she could go peacefully and know we would all be okay but we would miss her. I’ve never seen anyone die before and I will never forget the look in her eyes, but I am so glad we were there for her so she did not have to be alone.

We stayed with her for a little while longer, and picked up her things and went home before the hospice nurse and the mortuary people came. Neither one of us could watch her being taken away on a gurney for her last ride. We came back to our house and talked a while longer and Tyler spent the night. I can’t believe it’s over. I know what her life had become was not what she wanted. I thought there would be a greater feeling of relief than there is. There is a certain degree of relief, but much more of sadness and a kind of sick empty feeling. There wasn’t a lot of my mom left, but it was something. I can’t believe that 4 months ago she was in Europe on vacation and now she is gone…..

Thank you to all the wonderful friends who have made this journey a little less lonely for us and for showing my mom the love you felt for her. We appreciate it more than you will ever know.

 

5 thoughts on “Thursday, October 29th

  1. Barb neal

    From the airplane boarding door overseas, thank you so much, Marion, for your loving care in relaying all the steps along the journey. So glad you & Tyler were there for the last parting. We will continue to love Charlotte for the wonderful woman she was when with so many of us in June. Wishing you & yours peace as you adjust to her passing.

  2. Stan & Mary

    Dear Marion, Rick, Jenna, and Tyler,
    Our hearts go out to you. Your mother was a wonderful friend whom we will miss greatly.

    Your love and devotion over these past four months has been amazing. Your mother and Oma was truly blessed to have you by her side.

    Wishing you peace and comfort,
    Stan & Mary

  3. Connie

    Dear Marion, Rick, Tyler & Jenna,
    Please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your precious Mother, Mother-in-Law & Oma. I know that I only took care of Charlotte for a short while during her illness, but her warm, witty & charming personality took hold of my heart & never let go. I will never forget her….
    Warmest thoughts,
    Connie Larrick

  4. Kathy Sella

    Dear Marian and Rick,
    I am truly sorry for your loss. Your mother was my favorite of my parents’ friends growing up in Tucson and I have so many wonderful memories of her. She was the perfect aunt I never had and I always loved spending time with her. May God delight in her smile and laugh at her (sometimes naughty) jokes, she will be greatly missed.
    Much love
    Kathy Dunaj Sella

  5. Douglas & Ingrid Van Dorpe

    Dearest MARION, TYLER, and ALL THE OTHERS IN THE CHARLOTTE GRIFFIN FAMILY,
    We just read your 29 October 2015 blog entry. We are soooo very sorry for the loss of your beloved MOM (and OMA) CHARLOTTE very early this morning. She was a great woman and a good friend of ours in the GACT; and in other places as well. We will miss her and will never forget her. You have our very deepest sympathy.
    Love, DOUGLAS and INGRID VAN DORPE

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