At the risk of stating the obvious, cancer is a bitch. No matter what kind or how it affects,  always a bitch. But brain cancer is a fucking bitch. Pardon my French. It can affect every part of your body and your life. When I got to Handmaker yesterday mom was in bed sleeping-I tried talking to her and she was slurring her words. They could not take her to her MRI appointment in a wheelchair, they had to use a stretcher since she seemed to have no core strength whatsoever and couldn’t seem to sit up. It made me think that I might already have an idea of  what the MRI will show….. I feel like we are stuck in fast forward instead of play and nothing I do can get it back to play again.

I’m starting to question the very idea of trying to get mom to Texas. It seems like there is no way it can work and when she realizes it, it will break her heart. I just feel like it is more trouble for her than she can take in her constantly declining condition. Some dipshit actually suggested a medical air transport. Seriously? If you are in that bad of shape that you can’t sit up in a seat, why the hell are you going to a party? I can see it if you have to get to a hospital in a different city, but a wedding? I don’t think so.

Tyler went by in the evening and she was sitting in a wheelchair again, so that’s something. But what? Wish I had more today. I just don’t.

On a somewhat lighter note, some of my German family has no concept of the time difference between there and here. I don’t generally answer my phone after 10 at night or before 9 in the morning, unless it’s my mom or one of my kids. That gives a full 13 hours of calling time. That means 6 in the evening German time through about 7 in the morning. If you are having lunch in Germany-don’t call!!! And PS-if its 9 a.m. on the east coast, you will wake me up-we’re retired and gave that early shit up.

I’m sorry this is late today. I really wanted to see if there was any improvement. Tyler and I walked in and she is now on Oxygen. Dear god. What next?