There have been a lot of times that were hard to write about and this is one of those times. Mom’s surgeon warned us about two general anesthesias in such a short time and told us she would take a little longer to bounce back this time. But, wow. I was not ready for this. She doesn’t seem to know that she is in the hospital much of the time, and when she does, she wants out. First thing this morning I called her to tell her I was on my way, she told me they were letting her out today. Just as I said, “no, they’re not.” the nurse in the background said, “you are not going home today.” She was disappointed. She was groggy, confused and announced that there were several things advertised on television, that she really must buy. Several of. I told her I was glad she didn’t have her credit card with her….and that I don’t need a hot plate, or a new curling iron, and neither does Jenna, but, thank you.

I thought maybe if she got a little more sleep, she would snap out of it and be back to normal. So Rick and I went to Home Goods to pick up a few comforter sets  for her to choose from, for the new bed. Then we went to her house to do a few little chores and visit the cats. Next stop, Casino del Sol, because we always gamble right around our anniversary since we went to Monte Carlo on our honeymoon (and gambled-and just like Monte Carlo, we didn’t win). For 30 years it’s been a tradition, and we don’t want to mess with tradition. It’s worked for us this long, so why tempt fate? We also have no idea what our schedule will be like in the upcoming days, or weeks, or months, for that matter… Anyhoo, we went back to the hospital on our way home. Tyler was already there. And he looked worried. He motioned to me that I should check her left arm. It did nothing. Couldn’t grip a hand. Couldn’t feel if you touched her. What???? I held her hand and asked her if she could squeeze it. She said, “of course, give it to me.” It was already there. I cannot emphasize enough how this is not okay. I would love to believe that this is from the anesthesia, but I get the feeling it is not. Gina called to tell mom she was bringing her some good homemade German soup for dinner, which made her happy, because she is still all about the food. She told Gina that I was making steak tartar tonight and that she could have some when she came. She did not know she was in the hospital. We had another couple of instances when she wanted me to get something from another room, like we were at her house.

I hope like hell, that I will get there tomorrow morning and everything will be back to normal. But, I don’t believe it will go quite like that. I want to know what caused this to begin with and why there is such a huge change in her. This has to get better.