I think Rosa must be the luckiest person. Mom always seems to do well on days when Rosa visits. Tuesday was no exception. Rosa normally comes Tuesday and Thursday, so I have some hope for today. She has had her ups and downs this week. Wednesday was another down day. I was able to catch every 5th or 6th word. Her breathing was uneven and she said goodbye often-actually it was auf wiedersehen. In between auf wiedersehens, she passed along little pearls of wisdom. To Jenna, don’t get discouraged, keep on going, everything will work out. I wasn’t sure what she was talking about in particular, but good advice nonetheless. To me, be there for Jenna, she will need your advice over the years. Okay! I’m on it. To all of us, keep up the German traditions. Christmas Eve is the important day, even if Americans think it’s Christmas Day. She seems to be very focused on Jenna right now. She mentioned that she still can’t believe she can’t go to her wedding. She told me I would love being a grandmother. I agree with that as well. She fell asleep often and never let go of my hand.

Tina, the day nurse, came in and I told her mom kept saying goodbye. She asked mom where she was going and mom said she was going to the next dimension. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. She mentioned the pretty light in the glass of champagne. Really a weird day. I kept thinking of the twilight zone soundtrack.  Before Tina left, she gave me her mobile number in case I want to talk to her, because she will be off today.

Sleep, for me, has been pretty restless these days……there is just a constant feeling of unease, dread and sometimes panic. I can’t seem to shake it.

This morning before going to Handmaker, Taylor Adair came to the house to get mom’s final arrangements in place and all the paperwork signed. Apparently this cannot be paid for in advance, but it can be arranged. Creepy still, but not as creepy as the room at the funeral home. When I got to Handmaker mom was in worse shape than yesterday-not really able to talk, noisy breathing and choked easily. I tried to feed her some oatmeal and diet coke-the breakfast of champions! She got a little down but was unable to swallow her liquid meds…..I have to run out and take care of a few more things so that Tyler can move in to her house soon to take care of her feline babies. So much to do before I leave town!