Mom had several things she wanted yesterday after the effing crepes, lol! She wanted me to be able to make her a cup of HER coffee. She wanted pajamas. She wanted her iPad. With the pictures she took this summer loaded on it. She wanted me to go to a store and buy her a skirt she saw in a catalog. She wanted fish and chips, delivered piping hot. I took care of all of it (except the skirt) and of course, the first question, was where is my grey warm-up suit. Hmmmm. It’s at your house, because YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR IT! Seriously?
I chose to stay home last evening, because this is sucking the life out of me and I need a break. Watching this shit show of modern medicine and all of the accompanying bureaucracy is making me physically ill. Every time she has to be moved by two people and I see how little she can contribute to this, I want to scream. Where in the hell can she go after TMC? What are the choices? I want to see them before my mom goes there. I would like, no, I demand the ability to make an informed decision. Good god, that is NOT to much to ask for.
Between the ups and downs in her mood and the consistently downward spiraling of her health in general, yikes. Walking in to her room requires a major effort and when you do walk in you have no idea what you will encounter, all you do know is that you will be sad when you leave.
After I FINALLY got my hair done again for the first time in months, Rick dropped me at the hospital for a few hours. She had just gotten her PICC line inserted, after several tries. She was not in a happy place. I believe the first words she spoke to me were “oh, shut up.” And she meant it. Ouch.
I had a 3 o’clock appointment with a palliative care dr. I think her last name was Taylor. We talked about so many things. Where she is now. Where she is going. Her doctors. The bullshit she was fed from day 1. How fast this is all going.
Marion,
I’m a friend of your mom’s through water aerobics. I know what you’re going through because I went through a very similar situation with my mother many years ago, just a different health problem. You do feel helpless! I got a list of all the possible nursing homes from the patient advocate then went personally to each and every one to check it out. Some/most didn’t take long to check off my list. The place I thought was the nicest was The Forum. I changed my mind after she was placed there for awhile. The staff was very inattentive. The didn’t change sheets, shower her, answer the call button, lost her glasses, etc. They just didn’t care! Then we moved her to a small home-like setting on Wilmot behind park place mall. There was just one house at the time that housed about 10 people but they’ve since expanded and have an entire community of homes. You’ll see the sign for it if you drive south on Wilmot between Broadway and 22nd on the west side of the street. They were wonderful with her! It might have change with the expansion. Go check it out. The only problem is, I’m not sure they would have the 2 x 24/7 assistance she needs. If you want to email me about others I checked, that would be fine. Places may look nice but the staff makes all the difference! You have to be vigilant and watchful, unfortunately at most of the places or she’ll slip through and be totally ignored.
Hang in there. Your mother is worth it and you’ll be glad you did all you’ve done later.