Mom sat up yesterday evening for a very long time. I wish there was something other than that, that is positive to say. There just isn’t. Watching two people having to move her the two feet from the chair to the bed is an awful thing to witness. The look in her eyes as they move her into position on the bed, the way she can’t help them at all is a haunting sight that I wil not soon, if ever, be able to forget.
Her case manager called me shortly after I left the hospital in the afternoon to tell me that she has to have two people care for her at all times. And it freaked me out 6 weeks ago when they said she required 24/7 care. Shit. At least that was doable. Times 2-not so much. Add MRSA to that equation and we are royally screwed. Then go a step further and add in the fact that the tumor grew during 4 weeks of radiation and chemo, and now with the MRSA treatment they have to suspend both, and holy shit.
She has not been filled in on all of this and it makes me sick to my stomach. My gut instinct is that I would want to know. But if it makes her give up hope or lose her will, than what is the point of knowing? Seriously, that sounds like a rhetorical question, but if anyone has a strong opinion one way or the other, I want to hear it. Because I am in a protective mode and emotionally looking at the big picture and I don’t like any of the options. It’s obvious to me that we need more information. I will have to have a conversation with her soon regarding her wishes regarding different “hypothetical” scenarios. I just wish they WERE hypothetical. I plan to look over her living will today to see if anything we are dealing with now is covered.
We brought the delicious stuffed cabbage and mashed potatoes that Connie made for her yesterday. She loved it! Thanks Connie! Mom was moved to room 871 today, which is not in intensive observation, I thought it was a good sign. It turns out that they needed the bed. Great.
Hi Marion, Rick and family. I think I hit the wrong button and sent part of a message a minute ago…sorry. We’ve been reading your blog, and following along with your trials, frustrations, and your feelings…and we can identify with most of them. Right now I am the caregiver for Christine 24/7, for her broken femur….she’s been wheelchair bound for six weeks, and has another six weeks to go before the surgeon will let her put weight on her leg…..it’s a long haul, and I’ve had a total of 3 days off in the last two years if you count her hip replacements and related surgeries. Coincidentally, I also had a brain tumor,,,,1997 I had a Meningioma, which was successfully removed, and my cousin’s husband had the same thing as your mom a few years ago, so I’m pretty familiar with the problems and most of the medical jargon. Anyway, we read your latest question about whether to tell your mom about her current status, and since you asked for opinions,….here’s ours: We talked it over, and decided if it happened to either of us, we would want to know the whole story. Especially since it’s complicated by the non-treatment with chemo drugs because of MRSA. Putting the cards on the table just might help her get herself together in one big rally to fight the cancer with a focused blast of energy. From what I gather, she needs to get the MRSA under control before they can do more chemo….maybe there’s a different chemo drug that would help, or a different MRSA treatment (Do they use some high-power antibiotics for that?). It’s a tough situation, and I would not be happy if everybody was telling me good things when I could see for myself that I wasn’t improving. Your mom is a tough lady, and I bet she would want to know the situation….. and also it might help relieve a lot of tension since you won’t have to dance around the issue anymore. Of course that’s just our opinion, and we know you will do what you think is best for her. We’re sorry we aren’t available to come help you….we would if we could, but as I said I’m taking care of Christine full time myself. Please give Charlotte our love, and a big hug from us. I know this is really difficult for you, and just thank God for Rick and your kids who have been able to help when necessary. We wish all of you the best of luck….please keep us posted (the blog is wonderful),,,oh…very sorry to hear about your arm. Jeez, when it rains, it pours! We’re here for you if we can help with moral support or whatever you need. Sending you and your mom our love from Lompoc.
Steve & Christine
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