I didn’t write anything yesterday, but I wish I had. I woke up at 1:50 a.m. and never could get back to sleep although I was very tired. At 4:45 I gave up and called it a night. It occurs to me that writing about what’s going on is very cathartic and helps me to deal with everything….It seems like when I write on this blog, I can somehow put all the things going on in my head to rest.

Yesterday was a kind of tough day getting acclimated to the new surroundings and schedules. I was frankly alarmed that I did not see mom use her walker even once. She was using a wheelchair. This is not even close to what I expected, and I really began to question where she was headed. There was a new patient orientation that she said I needed to be there for, but I was actually the only non-patient there. I think she wanted moral support, and I am glad I did go, even though I wanted to scream several times during it. Mom interrupted the speaker constantly and then announced she was tired and wanted to go rest and get ready for visitors. I had to point out that the information being provided was very useful, and she needed to stay for the rest of the presentation. After I wheeled her back to her room she started talking about random things from her childhood that were very upsetting to her. She lived through World War 2 in Germany, which was not an ideal setting for your childhood. She was 5 years old when the war began and 11 when the war was over. She just isn’t quite herself right now and it makes me miss her already, which I know sounds morbid and I realize that she may be back to normal at some point in the future, but for now it’s just hard to witness. She does seem to brighten when visitors come, which gives me hope. A little.

Yesterday, Fernando finished getting the house ready for her return. The carpets have all been removed and the ramp is built. The hardwood floors that have been covered for decades are now again visible, and they look great! The next thing we should do is to replace the kitchen floor, but I will wait until she is feeling better so she can pick out the tile herself. As much as I’d like to have it done now, I think she might actually enjoy a little redecorating. Right now there’s an awkward transition between the floor in the kitchen and the hallway and the kitchen and the dining room, but, oh well.

Here is what you need to know for today: if you want to call mom in the hospital, her direct number is 322-7873. She has physical therapy at 8:15, 10:30, and 1 and at 2 she has speech therapy. So, if you are planning a visit today, I would suggest either at lunch time between 11:30 and 1 or wait until after 3:30. My guess is she will be pretty wiped out today, and may try to nap between her appointments. Visiting hours end at 8. She has her iPad with her and I think she is learning more about it every day. I think we can teach her how to use FaceTime today and hopefully she can more easily communicate with friends and family back in Germany. Wifi at HealthSouth is much better than at TMC, and Tyler put Netflix on her iPad so she can watch her beloved Brit-coms. I’m sure her roommate will want our heads for that.

I am encouraging mom to at the very least take her dinner in the dining room. She reluctantly said she would, but doesn’t seem happy about it. I hate the idea of her eating all of her meals in bed. It seems so wrong. Her roommate is being discharged tomorrow, so hopefully we can move her to the bed by the window. I think that will help some.

And today, Chemotherapy begins!