Mom was scheduled to see Dr Hazard, her radiation oncologist, at noon today. I volunteered to take her so she wouldn’t be that sad lonely little lady in the waiting room sitting by herself. TMC would not allow that for liability reasons, so I planned to meet her there to take care of the paperwork and be her advocate. I really believe having someone look out for your interests gets you better care. I was just calling Dr Hazard’s office at shortly before 8:30 when I received a phone call from Barry Spencer, the case manager at TMC. Apparently the appointment for Dr. Hazard was at noon but Dr Badruddoja was at 9:30. So, suddenly my transporting her didn’t pose such a problem liability wise. Yeah, right. Once I got to her room, they had no wheelchair ready to take her out and no gait belt on her- just a walker. By this time it was after 9. So mom, being mom, said let’s go. And she started to walk. Anyone who has been there knows it is one super long walk. We flagged someone down for a wheelchair ride. I got to know the valet guy real well today because I kept parking in the middle of his area and not giving him my keys-he put up with me with a smile! I promised not to do it again. Twice.

Our first appointment was with Dr. B, who, I honestly did not want to like. I really wanted her to go to Arizona Cancer Center for, oh so many reasons. I won’t go in to them all now….We talked about all the screw-ups in mom’s care and he was really upset about them. He was outright pissed that she had not been transferred to HealthSouth for intensive rehab. He could not believe that she was not prescribed steroids to keep the swelling down in the brain when she was released too soon with no help. My mom told him that if I hadn’t taken her back to the ER, she might have slipped in to a coma and died. He told her she was absolutely right. He further agreed that she was not strong enough yet for radiation and chemo, which will really take it out of her over the 6 weeks of treatment. I kind of dared him indirectly by telling him that the case manager would not allow us to put off treatment for a week to get her strong enough to withstand it all. That was really all he needed to go to battle for us. So tomorrow she is being transferred to HealthSouth for intensive rehab. And then we go for treatment. That also means I have enough time to get some projects completed to keep her safe. Starting tomorrow, the contractor (who really loves mom), is starting to remove all the carpeting and build a huge ramp that will get her safely in and out. I am having him build it so it is removable, because when she is feeling good it will drive her crazy. We will be able to drag that big, heavy thing to the empty bay in the garage in case we need it again down the road. May as well be prepared.

My other huge concern was how I would manage her care time-wise. Rick, Tyler and I discussed it last night and came up with two people who might be willing and able to help us out overnight. Luckily, it seems like both of them will work out. The thought of leaving my mom with strangers made me sick to my stomach, but the two ladies we came up with are perfect. I feel good about them and trust them to care for her and honestly, once they get to know her, I know they will get along famously!

So the radiation mask is complete, the rehab is in place, the construction is under way and the night time care is in place. Today is the best I’ve felt about all of this since this nightmare began! An old friend of mine, Elsa (my childhood best friend), sent me the most inspirational message of all. She reminded me that yes, I could take care of this and to not get overwhelmed with the big picture. That I needed to break it down and live in the present. I have gone back countless times to re-read her message and it helps me every single time I read it. (Plus, there was a link to a recipe for shrimp culichi, which I am addicted to.)

I can actually go to sleep tonight without contemplating fighting the bureaucracy that has been so awful over the last two weeks. No fights tomorrow! Is this real? I’ll let you know……