Today is the fifth anniversary of the death of my best friend, Valarie Miller. That means that I have experienced the sadness of November 8th several times already, but somehow, today is particularly tough. Maybe it’s because it’s the number 5. I don’t know. Maybe it is because it finally hit me that I will never have another best friend like her. Maybe I had hope that I could-I feel like I’ve been unknowingly interviewing women friends to take Valarie’s place in my life. No one really can though. She got me. I got her. We left nothing out. Every topic was fair game. And on that topic, there were no games. Just an honest friendship. I knew she was there for me whenever I needed her. We didn’t have to talk every day or even see each other every week, but she was my person. Of all the women I have known, I probably never would have thought that she would be the friend I would be the closest to. We weren’t that similar. We had different likes and dislikes. Different backgrounds. For god’s sake she was a republican!

Today, I just miss her so much that it hurts. I miss having a friend that listens as well and shares as much as Val did. It makes me feel so lonely.