When, exactly, is this supposed to get even a little bit easier? Please let it be soon. I know in my heart that being with mom at the end is something we are glad we were able to do for her. But, holy crap, it was not good for us. I can’t get it out of my mind, and I’m in my fifties……. Tyler is only 25. He was not in any way prepared for the continuous loop playing in his head. He is already devastated to lose his Oma, but Jesus, that picture. It just won’t go away.

We huddled together from Wednesday to Sunday. Sunday was the first day we saw anybody other than the three of us. It was a good diversion to see a few friends that stopped by, but as the evening wore on, I became more and more worried about Tyler. He just wasn’t ready to leave, but knew he needed to…..His boss texted him and told him not to rush it, that he could take whatever time he needed. It’s a great group of people he works with. Jenna had to grieve on her own, although we talked a lot over the weekend. I’m glad she had lots of love and support from her husband, friends and coworkers.

The work at mom’s is under way and looking good. It’s sad that she wasn’t able to see it since she was so insistent that these things be done. We are thinking that Tyler will move in this weekend or next at the latest. We will probably stay with him for the first night or two…..it will be a strange feeling for him being there alone. Everything is baby steps at this point. 

Very soon, I will have to start having to deal with the business part of dying. I am so not looking forward to that. In fact I am dreading it. I don’t know where on earth to start. A good friend suggested the mortuary has a checklist, and instructions for what to do. I’m sure I can google it and get some direction too and now that I am not spending every day at Handmaker, I should have plenty of time to do it……