When I got to Handmaker yesterday morning, Eduardo, the CNA, was scurrying out of mom’s room to go get something. As he was walking out he told me that every morning when he checks on mom, she says Guten Morgan Sonnenschein (good morning sunshine). He came back a minute later with his iPad. He began to get her dressed and played the song Guten Morgan Sonnenschein by Nana Mouskouri for her on his iPad. She absolutely loved it! Seriously one of the sweetest gestures I have witnessed there.

Rick helped me get mom to her infectious disease doctors appointment around the corner from Handmaker. We walked over with the wheelchair and she liked being outside in the sunshine for a change. Dr. Valdivia is keeping her on IV vancomycin for two more weeks. She said if she were a candidate for surgery to remove the bone flap (ewwww, that term again), she would keep her on the vanco for another 4-8 weeks. As it is, after the two weeks, she will probably go to pills. I don’t really get the difference, but, I’m sure there is a good reason that is over my head. She was also concerned with the swelling in her left hand, which I’ve been asking about for weeks. Her left hand and both of her feet are so puffy, it worries me. They were planning to have someone come in and do an ultrasound or an X-ray, not sure which. I had to have my arm re-checked so I couldn’t stay to find out and when I came back later, mom didn’t remember if anyone came in to do it. I will check with the nurse when I get there.

I missed a few calls yesterday and didn’t return them. My apologies, I was kind of down and just couldn’t do it. I don’t think she will be going to any outside appointments for a while, so feel free to visit whenever you’d like. She is not asking for anything in particular right now, so if you want to bring anything, feel free to use your own judgment. I just can’t be of any help on that. I offered to bring her something from Olive Garden for lunch and she didn’t want anything. I actually find that a little alarming. I will try not to overthink it, but will keep an eye on her appetite, which was the only good thing she had going of late.

We have the appointment with the hospice intake nurse today at 1:00. Everyone has assured me that mom is not a candidate and I have to say that if the nurse told me today that they wanted to move her in, I would be terrified because I now get exactly what that would mean and I’m really not ready. I just want so badly for her to be comfortable and not be so terribly sad. I think she may be giving up and I understand why she would. Don’t worry, I will not try to guilt her in to hanging on for me, but I am trying to give her goals. Visits from my cousin Steffie from Germany after the wedding, Jenna after the honeymoon, her good friend Stephanie in November…. She just doesn’t seem to believe she will be here that long.