I know the long weekend has made it difficult for a lot of mom’s friends to visit. Between going out of town, or just plain old having (fun) plans of one sort or the other, it just happens. We understand. (And, we’re jealous) She is sleeping so much, when you do get there, you almost feel like you are keeping her up. It’s a frustrating time. One that will go on for quite some time, I’m afraid. We’re still going twice a day for several hours at a time, and it’s rough. Not gonna lie. As I try to psyche myself up to go, I often feel like I can’t stand to walk down that hallway one more time, and then I do. But I am so sick of it-I have to remind myself that when this is all over, I will miss my mom terribly. But then, I already do.

We met with Dr Ortega today and discussed her current condition and the next steps. We also met with Dr Rivera, who hopes he won’t have to do the surgery to remove the bone “flap.” God, that’s a gross term, and I hate writing it almost as much as I hate hearing.  Dr Ortega is probably the best hospitalist we have come across in the last 7(!) weeks. He actually seems to care. He listens. He thinks before he answers. He doesn’t seem to be following a script. He thinks we can get mom to the wedding-by plane. He is concerned about the aggressive tumor. He also understands our disgust with the cancer business at CNS. We do not want to go back there. It is unanimous. We are ready to move on. She will be discharged from TMC sometime this week, at which point we have to choose the next place. We would all like to believe that at some point she will be able to go back home and sleep in that damn over-priced bed……

Tyler and I went to the hospital for a few hours in the evening and she’s doing the same. I sure wish she were reliving the happy times in her life, but the saddest ones keep coming up. I wonder why. Dignity at a time like this, seems to be in such short supply. It just seems that more could be done in patient care in that regard. This is not how my mom would want to live….