Irma

Yup, just Irma. The weekend after I arrived, hurricane Irma hit Florida. Hard. This is officially my third hurricane. But the first one barely counts. That was Arthur in the summer of 2014. We just took turns chasing each other up the eastern seaboard. The last two, Matthew and Irma were a little more up close and personal.

Irma moved this way and that and I stayed at Jenna’s thinking inland is always safer than right on the ocean. While that is theoretically correct, and there was some damage to our building in Daytona Beach Shores, the eye came directly over us at Jenna’s house. The prep, the actual hurricane and the aftermath was not fun. When you think of what happened to so many people in the path of this monster of a storm, we escaped relatively unscathed. If you don’t factor in the sheer terror of it, that is. We all had to go to safe rooms. Which is generally a bathroom. We lost electricity for4 days. No water either, because although they have a well, the pump is, you guessed it, electric. It was so freaking hot and humid and miserable. I could go on and on about how crappy it was, but many people lost everything.

Tonight we are back in the house with air conditioning and flushing toilets and all that good stuff. But somehow things just feel a little off. I’m not so sure I would want to live with this threat 24/7. I also wonder if, in the long run Jenna and her husband will want to. I want them to have a good life together. But here?

Spending my days with Sloan, while totally exhausting, has been wonderful. We have fallen into a good rhythm. We spend a lot of time playing and laughing and I am so looking forward to taking her to the beach for a few days here and there once Rick gets here. What a little character!

I thought I posted this last week after the storm-but apparently not.

Back in Tucson for a while

IMG_6476We got back a week ago, and it’s always a shock. The fact that four or five of my condo kitchen could fit into my kitchen here. The fact that I can clean the whole condo in the same amount of time as my bedroom and bathroom here. The fact that I have to get in my car and drive several miles if I need something from the store instead of walking across the street. And that there are no friends to visit with without making plans and driving somewhere. But, wow, the desert is so beautiful and green here at this time of year!

Friday was a big day for me. One I had been putting off for nine years. It was the day that I had my first colonoscopy. Ever since I turned 50, various doctors have told me that I need to just do it. Bottom line, is I’m a coward and hate the idea of someone putting a long tube in there, and generally just poking around there. I also know a nurse that works in that office. Awwwkward! When I had my endoscopy in the spring, I promised I would schedule this damn thing, and well, it was time. That made Thursday THAT day. Prep day. Honestly with the amount of weight I gained on the last trip, I should probably just schedule a prep day once or twice a week. And maybe invest in a scale for the condo. I tried not to be hangry that day ( hungry and angry about it), and I think I pulled it off. I consumed over 100 oz. of clear liquids before getting to the half gallon of laxative/ big purge portion of the night’s entertainment. I was still terrified about doing this but (and I almost just spelled that butt), I went through with it. I felt so weak from hunger, I could have eaten my arm! The rumbling in my stomach actually scared the dog. And man the constant running to the bathroom-yikes! It was intense! I felt like just staying in the bathroom with a cooler with the laxative in it and a tablet so I could read. Everyone said the prep part is the worst part and it is so true. I was nervous up until the moment I went under, but everything was fine in the end (couldn’t resist). No cancer. No polyps. Just diverticulosis and I can deal with that!

While in the midst of my colonoscopy angst, Jenna is spending a four day girls weekend with old friends at our condo. Three of the nicest young ladies flew there on Thursday to get a much deserved break at the beach. Of the four, three are wives and mothers with crazy schedules and they need this break desperately. The other one, the sane one, will probably be the one to keep the other three safe this weekend, lol! I’m so glad to be able to provide a place for them to enjoy their time together. And if all goes well and no furniture or appliances have to be replaced and my favorite rug escapes red wine stains, they’ll be welcome back. Fingers crossed!

 

 

It’s been a while

I just realized I haven’t written a word since Christmas. I actually wrote a really long post in April and forgot to hit publish, and seriously it’s probably for the best. I was deep in the despair of our political situation at the time. Not that I’m okay with things now, but I was particularly upset then. And I have found Xanax-don’t judge, it helps. So much has been going on! Rick and I went to Florida in February to help Jenna and Tyler move out of their rental house and to the home of their dreams which they bought. It is truly beautiful! The perfect place to raise kids, or kid, whichever they decide. We packed up the old place, cleaned it up, helped move, painted some rooms in the new house and unpacked the boxes and put stuff away. I think they each took one day off work for the actual move, and we were happy to help. This was during the 4 month period we rent our condo, so we never even went to the beach, which was really weird. I stayed a couple extra weeks after Rick went home to finish up organizing the kitchen and fun things like that. That wasn’t sarcastic, by the way. I’m German and love to organize. Getting to spend so much time with Sloan was the big bonus! What an adorable little character she is! It’s hard to believe she is almost 8 1/2 months old already. Watching her grow and master new tasks is so much fun! It amazes me how quickly it all happens. I have now spent more time in Florida than in Arizona this year. I just got back two weeks ago after being there for 8 weeks and am returning a week from Sunday. Tyler joined us for a week on the last trip. He can’t get enough of Sloan either…. I’m so glad we bought the condo and can all enjoy it. Together, separately, however it works out.

The new house is a little farther from our place, but not bad. It takes about an hour and a half. It is a beautiful drive through the greenest country, passing rivers, lakes, farms, horse ranches. Nothing like Tucson to Phoenix! I have driven it so many times, I think I can nap through it. We found a really neat state park that is between our place and theirs where you can rent kayaks and paddle up a river to a spring where you can see manatees and alligators. Luckily when we did it, we only saw the manatees. I’m still not a fan of alligators. There is some crazy freaking wildlife in those parts.

My car currently resides in Florida, which I thought would present more challenges than it really has. So far, so good. Plus it gives us a ridiculous amount of room in our garage in Tucson. We also don’t have to rent a car every time we go there, like we did last year. We even have neighbors who take us to the airport and pick us up when we get there. I remind myself constantly how lucky I am. I just wish my mom had been here to meet Sloan and see how well everyone is doing. In April we drove down to Boca Raton to see my mom’s dear friends Stefanie and Milan for a nice lunch. We love getting together with them! Earlier in the year that my mom died, she had gone to Florida to visit them for the first time and absolutely loved it. She was already talking about her next trip she planned to take there. She’s still never far away in my thoughts.

During this last trip, we lost two more family members back in Germany. My cousin Traudi’s husband Roland, who I could not have loved more, had he been my own brother. Over the years those two and their daughters Stefanie and Michaela have been the closest family we had and the loss of Roland was a horrible shock. He was only 70 and just a few months older than Rick. I still can’t wrap my head around it. And shortly after that, my mom’s older sister, Alice, died. And now there are only two left, her younger sister Helga and her only brother Hans. As Jenna put it, I hate death. I just remind myself that without it, we wouldn’t have the joy of birth. The bitter to the sweet…

Some photos

Christmas, again

What a weird holiday. Last year we were all so heartbroken about mom’s recent death, and tried so hard to overcompensate and make it a good Christmas. We were all together here in Tucson and everyone over-spent and over gifted, but we did have fun. This year I think we all just ran out of steam. None of us were in the mood to shop. No one needed anything. Jenna and her family could not fly here because of work schedules, nor did they feel like traveling with a little baby. We stayed in Tucson, so it was just Tyler, Rick and me. As Tyler put it, it was as good as it could have been.

All the photos of family gatherings on Facebook just made me sad. We weren’t really up for the Christmas day open house, lox and bagels and mimosas that we normally do. Just a couple of people came by. Tyler looked at me at one point and told me that as much as he always loved being home for the holidays, he’s kind of over it now. My feelings exactly. We decided we will most likely start spending the holidays in Florida. There’s nothing quite like children at Christmas, and if that’s where our grandchild lives, then that is where we will spend our Christmas.

Here’s to the New Year! May it be a spectacular one!

83

This past Monday would have been mom’s 83rd birthday. It’s weird how you can live your life and enjoy what you are doing, and then bam, another jolt that takes you back to the darkest hours. You question yourself. Could I have done things differently? What would I change if I could? Whhhyyyyyyy?

Mom’s close friend, Rosemarie called me on Monday morning because she was thinking of her on her birthday. She said her life isn’t the same since my mom died. Something is just missing. She said the ladies that got together to play canasta every week have not wanted to play since mom got sick. It was something that Rosemarie looked forward to. She did nothing for Thanksgiving and won’t put up a Christmas tree this year. So, if you, for one minute think you don’t matter, you are wrong. I think we all have the power to be a positive force in someone’s life, as mom clearly did in spades.

Tyler put up his Christmas tree in the TV room last weekend and put mom’s tree with her ornaments in the living room. It’s good. After a year in the house, he’s done a great job in making it feel like home for him. It’s a lot of house for a 27 year old. Tyler is traveling around the state for the next several weeks for work and found himself in Prescott, which, believe it or not, does not have a lot of restaurants catering to vegetarians. He found himself at Olive Garden, a restaurant we both always despised, but mom went to every single week. It was a favorite of Mickey’s. Anyway, Tyler was just hit with sadness, sitting there eating that icky excuse for Italian food. We constantly tried to talk her out of that crappy restaurant and go someplace with good food. We would both love to go there with her right now for just one more meal. You just never know what will trigger you.

Jenna and her husband, the other Tyler, are still in a constant state of sleep deprivation. Her greatest fantasy at this point is a night alone in a hotel room. I remember that fantasy well. Today is the first time she has ever left Sloan with a friend so she could get her hair done. It’s hard to do that first time, but healthy nonetheless! She is going back to work on December 21st and is looking forward to it. They love this little sweetie with all their hearts, but are fairly certain she will be an only child-lol! I made a donation to Planned Parenthood in their honor yesterday-it should be good for a laugh, and at this point Planned Parenthood needs the money! Jenna and Tyler are scheduled to close on their new house in January. It’s a wonderful place on half an acre, and we are thrilled for them.

Well, here goes another holiday season…wishing you and yours a peaceful, joyous one!

The Apocalypse

Okay, well, that title may be a little over dramatic, and for that I apologize. But, holy crap batman, what the hell is happening to our country? I’m going off the rails and waxing political, so if you are a Trump supporter, you may need to stop reading right now. Although if you do read on, you may get some insight to those of us who do not share your views, and better yet, if you have something that could allow the rest of us to understand your way of thinking it could help us gain some insight. It could be a win-win situation. Although it is highly unlikely.

This recent presidential election has been the single most divisive time I have ever witnessed. I’m sure Hitler’s rise to power was similar, I just did not witness it. The last week has been a period of grieving, mourning not only the fact that a xenophobic, misogenystic, sexist, racist, homo-phobic, self-serving, narcissistic demagogue has duped a good portion of our country, but that many people we know and love feel that this mindset and behavior is acceptable. Will we as a country ever be okay again? Judging by the appointments Trump has made in recent days, I’m not so sure. I guess my biggest question and what bothers me the most is rooted in religion. It seems to me that many people who share the mindset of our new leader, in the same breath mention their Christianity and the importance of religion in their lives. How does one reconcile such a disparate ideology? Let’s all say grace and hold hands, and while we’re at it, let’s keep the muslims out of our country, deport the Mexicans, take away a woman’s right to a safe legal abortion, and let’s try conversion therapy on the gays since being gay is obviously a choice. Whaaaaaat??????   I know more people who do not practice organized religion, who are more kind, loving, accepting and inclusive than the ones who do. I am sure that is wildly oversimplified, and I do know people who are very religious who are very loving and accepting and inclusive, it’s just that the ones who are yelling the loudest about how wonderful Trump and his worldview is, are in the same breath shouting about their devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. You cannot, I repeat, cannot be on both sides of this. If you are so certain about your loving God, how do you not accept that there is some good in all people? I had a conversation with a woman who lives in our building in Florida. She is a very religious southern mother of a gay man who was planning to vote for Trump. I asked her how she could vote for someone who would probably appoint Supreme Court Justices that would try to overturn the equal right to marry law. She said, well we just won’t let that happen, besides I despise Hillary Clinton. Really? That makes no sense whatsoever. You do not need to hang out with her, but you know she will be fair and do the right thing. That is when I really began to worry. I also realized that you could speak with a sweet southern drawl and be dumb as a rock (and kind of a bitch, but that’s a whole different story). People were voting to make a statement. They were voting because they didn’t like this or that. They did not vote for who would best lead our nation. This is all that we the people are responsible for and we the people failed.

I read an article in the paper this morning, about Trump’s most recent appointments. Michael Flynn who is his pick to serve as national security advisor, was quoted as calling Islam a “cancer” and a “political ideology” that “definitely hides behind being a religion.” Wow. Sounds like you could describe the “alt-right” in a very similar way. Can you say irony?

I have heard people say that people have felt this way after an election before. I disagree wholeheartedly! We have had presidents who we have not liked before, and that goes for both parties, but we have NEVER had a president who could destroy or threaten our democracy. Yes, I thought W was a total and complete moron. But I didn’t fear that he would govern for the wrong reasons or that he would do irreparable harm to our country. I’m actually a little nostalgic for that knucklehead……

Not all Republicans are racist. There I said it. But, the good majority of racists are Republicans. I have met a very few Democrats who are as well. It makes my heart ache and my stomach sick when a human being can believe that an entire group of people is evil, whether that group is defined by the color of their skin, the religion they practice or who they love. Or as I said above, even if you don’t feel that way, if you are comfortable with the notion, you are definitely a part of the problem. We must protect those who are being oppressed, for the sake of basic human dignity and respect for our fellow man. If you didn’t get involved before the election, you’d better do it now, because time is running out. I know I will. Let your congressmen and senators know how you feel. And remember, I am no better than you, and you are no better than me. And that is just the plain simple truth.

 

Already one year

This past Saturday marked a year since mom died. On Friday, the 28th, Tyler and I were both hyper aware that last year on that day, we stayed by mom’s side all day other than when we grabbed a bite to eat. We watched her deteriorate hour by hour. It feels like yesterday. And it feels like forever. We still think of her every day. We still miss her.

I read this on Facebook yesterday and it couldn’t have been more appropriate. image

Tyler and Rick got here very late on the 27th and we stayed up talking until 3:00 a.m. We all slept in and then headed to Tavares to see Jenna and Sloan. Tyler was very excited to meet his new niece. Before coming here he went to Build-a-Bear, and dressed it in a U of A t-shirt and added a recording of his voice saying “Uncle Tyler loves you,” whenever you squeeze the bear’s hand. It is adorable. He changed her diaper-with some coaching…He held her for so long. We went out to lunch and she slept through it. It was a fun day-very touching. And very soothing somehow-the whole life goes on concept.

There was a concert across the street when we got home, and our friends from the condo all went and really wanted us to join them. They wanted to see Tyler. I explained we weren’t really in the mood, so of course at ten, three of them were banging on our door. One of the hazards of living so close to others. Apparently they had been drinking for hours! Yikes. They were drunk. Loud. Inappropriate. It could have been very entertaining if we had been in the same “place” but we weren’t. It was a late night.

We took another trip to Tavares to spend some more time with Jenna and family while Tyler was still here. We also squeezed in a trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios on Halloween. I’m glad we were all able to spend time together for this weekend. We all needed it. I will post photographs separately-the gallery function isn’t working today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 weeks

Today is 3 weeks since we got here. We’ve experienced a hurricane and the birth of our new grandbaby. And we’ve spent a lot of fun times with our neighbors. But I’ve gotta say it can be exhausting. Every now and then I feel a little…… unsocial. Plus I think my liver needs the occasional break. I literally sometimes feel guilty when I don’t want to have dinner together or watch a football game, or…… Coming here for two weeks at a time always seemed too short, but I’m starting to think three weeks could be the perfect amount of time.

Rick left yesterday to go back to Tucson for a few days to work and check on things at home. His absence, however, was short-lived. I left him at the airport at 2 and was back around 5:30 to get him again. I was at a birthday party when I found out he had not taken off yet. There were airplane problems that would take too long for him to make his connection, so they were happy to send him on his way and not have to put him up in a hotel and feed him. He left again today-this time first class, thanks to Delta.

It’s kind of weird around here without him. He’s a pretty entertaining person to have around-lol! I miss him already. I did a little shopping after leaving the airport for the third time in 24 hours. While out and about, I was invited to watch a football game back at the condo. Seriously, I get a sports break for a few days, and you won’t find me at a football watching party. Nope, it was time for a Grey’s Anatomy marathon and a kale salad for dinner. I’m gonna do a few things around here tomorrow and then head to Tavares for a couple of days to give Jenna a hand and to get in some baby cuddling time. Rick will be back here on Thursday night and he’s bringing Tyler back with him for a little visit. I’m really looking forward to it!

Sloan

Be still my heart! What a sweetie!

Be still my heart! What a sweetie!

Sloan had an appointment today with a photographer for a newborn photo session in Daytona Beach. Lucky us! In her first 6 days of life, we have missed only one day. She got to come to our condo after a long morning of being adorable for the photographer. She met some of our condo friends and then we all went to lunch at a restaurant on the beach. This little girl loves being outside. This will be quite handy for our little Florida girl!

Our daughter, Jenna has been amazing! She had a c-section 6 days ago and is bouncing back like a champ! She was in such great shape going into this and it has served her well. She is so calm and loving with her baby-it makes my heart soar with pride!

 

After the storm

We went back to the beach bright and early Saturday morning. The drive back showed a lot of damage to trees and buildings here and there. Several stop lights were out. The closer to the beach the more damage. We had the marble tiles blow off of the front of our building and a concrete bench was broken but that’s it for a 90+ mph sustained wind. Not bad at all! And we never lost electricity. It’s probably a good thing that we share the same grid as the fire department across the street.

The first night back we all sat together on the pool deck and someone declared it to be a survivor’s party, which I posted on Facebook. It was pointed out to me that it was in poor taste because people did die in this hurricane. It was not my intention to be that kind of jerk, but we all felt so relieved to be back and find that things were pretty damn okay here! We decided to go check things out that evening and realized how good we had it. Most of Daytona had no electricity and it was a mess! They have been working hurriedly to clean up. Thursday was the beginning of Biketober Fest, so it was supposed to be a madhouse around here for the next few days.

Late Wednesday afternoon we found out Jenna was in the beginning of labor. She went to work at Florida Hospital Waterman, where she works as the Foundation manager, at 8 a.m., had a doctor’s appointment in the hospital at 11 and Sloan Charlotte Krager was born via c-section at 7:08 that evening. We arrived at the hospital 15 minutes before she was born. Damn bikers made the drive quite a bit slower than normal.

We held that sweet little baby when she was just a few hours old. And so many hours over the next few days. We. Could. Not. Get. Enough. Of. Her. Jenna was finally released early Saturday evening, we helped them get settled at home and took off for the beach. It was their time to nest as a family and learn how this was going to work. Rick will fly back to Tucson next weekend, work a couple of days, and fly back with our son Tyler so that he can meet his niece. I will stay here so that I can help Jenna if needed. We feel so fortunate to have this sweet little baby in our lives after the year from hell we had last year.