It’s been forever since I have written a single word. Thought I might catch up with what’s been going on……. Very little, in fact, has been going on. I feel like I was sick forever. So much for the flu shot. After 10 days of being sick I finally went to the doctor and found out I needed \u00a0antibiotics and steroid nasal spray. The only positive thing that happened because of being sick was that cigarettes started to taste like crap. I didn’t try to quit, nor will I say I did quit, but at least I’m on the right track. I’m finally starting to feel somewhat normal again. If normal means I still think about my mom every single day and obsess over whether we could have done anything differently that would have made any difference in the long or short run….. My nurse practitioner told me those kinds of thoughts are quite normal, and that if it is bothering me excessively, I should go to grief counseling. I find that to be highly unlikely, but it is an option. For now, I believe I will go with plan B instead.<\/p>\n
When we were getting towards the end of mom’s battle with cancer, I remember saying when this is all over, I’m going to go the ocean, someplace warm with crystal clear water and spend some total relaxation time there. (This is plan B) Then, when it WAS over, I could not make any decisions about where and how. It was all too overwhelming. I finally booked a caribbean cruise for next month, with a few days before and after in Florida. I do love South Beach in Miami! I’m pretty excited about it. We are going with another couple,\u00a0and they have never cruised before-I think it sounds like a lot of fun.<\/p>\n
Mom really wanted to do the big Rhine River Cruise in May, and while I had every intention of going ahead with it and doing it in her honor, I find it is very difficult to wrap my head around since she isn’t here to do it with. I’ll keep it as an option, but it may wind up being next year instead of this one. We’ll see…..In the meanwhile my cousin Traudi’s husband, Roland was just diagnosed with cancer and we are all horrified that the word cancer is back in our everyday vocabulary. Luckily it isn’t brain cancer, and there is more hope for him at this point, but it’s cancer nonetheless. I freaking hate cancer. Who’s with me?<\/p>\n
I have not made a lot of progress with mom’s clothes and shoes. I have most of her shoes in bags ready to be taken to Goodwill, but if any of her friends would like any, please let me know. She wore an 8 or 8 1\/2. Tyler is doing well in the house and seems to be in a slightly better place. Jenna and her husband are considering a move to just outside Orlando, Florida. I wish it were closer instead of farther, but we hope that at some point they head back in this direction. I’ll never forget the time we went to Disneyworld in June. I was eaten alive by mosquitos. I’m not a fan of the mosquito.<\/p>\n
Hopefully, I will feel more like writing (and painting) again. It has always been very cathartic for me. Lately it just hasn’t come freely or naturally, so a break was in order. Keeping my fingers crossed.<\/p>\n
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